


Operation: The Devil Who Stole Valentine’s!

by foulplayed



Category: Shall We Date?: Obey Me!
Genre: Gen, OM white day exchange, also yes mammon calls lucifer lucy, catboy satan, demon brother shenanigans, everyone has a potty mouth lol, satan is just angy Baby
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-19
Updated: 2020-03-19
Packaged: 2021-02-28 17:33:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,681
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23211022
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/foulplayed/pseuds/foulplayed
Summary: Mammon shuffles over to the tabby colored ears and immediately plops them onto Satan’s head with no warning.Satan blinks in surprise and mutely opens his mouth. All of a sudden the band started to fit a little too snugly, the ears becoming a present weight over his head. He slowly raises his hand to reach out and feel them. They twitch in response and react to the touch. But really, what was most surprising was that they began to feel like an actual extension of his body.
Kudos: 79





	Operation: The Devil Who Stole Valentine’s!

**Author's Note:**

> this is for the obey me white day exchange. it's my first time ever posting one of my works so pls b nice 2 me i was inspired by some prompts on tumblr so there's a lot of banter and Uh anyway this is for my [giftee](https://twitter.com/_suachua) im so sorry i posted this late but i hope you enjoy this! ♡ ♡ ♡

**00:00:00**

"What the fuck is this supposed to mean?"

The concept of time doesn't really apply to the Devildom, not when it's seemingly dark out around the clock. The stretch of an inky black sky greeted you no matter where you looked. Despite the never ending nighttime and the irregular sleep schedules (or lack thereof), a blaring alarm that cut into the silence of alone time was certainly not appreciated. The pitch was shrill enough to make the sound reverberate through their skulls as the automated message continued to loop.

Mammon raised his handheld device, shoving the screen of his D.D.D under Lucifer's face with his hip cocked out in annoyance. He hastily tapped on the tiny 'X' at the corner, attempting to exit the still flashing notification. It's a convoluted mess with too many pinks and reds and the occasional trickle of a textured low quality glitter effect thrown in to tie the whole thing together. Lucifer glowered and promptly shoved Mammon's hand away from him. He clears his throat and smooths a hand down the lapels of his vest.

"Apologies for the rather abrupt call for a meeting. However, it seems that Diavolo has found another human activity he deems worthwhile celebrating," the room groans in collective exasperation, an irritated pull to their faces that has Lucifer staring in disapproval. "I believe that it's in everyone's best interest to participate wholly in making it happen."

"Like hell we're gonna have to! I ain't putting up with anymore of this, 'ya hear? None!" says Mammon, huffing indignantly as he digs the heel of his foot into the crevice of the cobbled floor. 

Lord Diavolo always found one thing after another to fixate over; a fruit fly’s attention span and a wide eyed curiosity for human customs. This time was no different. Solomon had blabbed to him about the girlish—borderline gaudy—decor that lined the walls of shops and streets during the holiday. A “for 2!” promo religiously advertised, stacks of homemade looking chocolate taking over all the displays in markets, and the rare bustle inside the flower boutiques.

“It's quite funny how you think you still get a say in this matter,” Lucifer steps off to the side to present the Valentine's day themed paraphernalia. “Diavolo has already made his trip to the human world to gather these materials. He wishes that we accomplish making at least one edible box of chocolates. Each.”

The demon brothers startled into a sudden chatter, an uproar that had six overlapping voices fighting over who gets to be heard first. Satan himself, remained uninterested in the whole ordeal. Sure, there must be some merit in indulging yourself with some sweetened delicacies. Maybe the flowers and frilly garlands could even spruce up the Devildom a tiny bit. But he’s never felt bothered enough to pay attention to seasonal color palettes and limited time offers that were obviously just money grabs.

“Enough!” Lucifer drags a hand across his face and sighs. “I’ll leave you to it. I hope that the end result will be favorable.”

As he walked out of the room, those who remained inside looked at each other for directions. Satan rolled his eyes and strolled over to the table to look at the items they had been given. There was the typical merchandise decorated with heart decals and cheesy one liners. There were even frames with the valentine cherubs gracing the sides, arrows pointing upwards towards the couple. Everything was looking pretty standard.

Among all the items in the pile, it was a pair of pointy ears that caught Satan's eyes. The accessory stuck out as the odd one amongst everything else on the table. Unfortunately, before he could even begin to reach out for it, Mammon was far ahead of him.

"Whoa, cat ears? Did Diavolo seriously get us cat ears?” He inspects the item closer, tugging on the fur that looked absurdly realistic for a novelty item. There’s a pair for all seven of them, color coordinated to match their hair the closest.

Mammon shuffles over to the tabby colored ears and immediately plops them onto Satan’s head with no warning.

Satan blinks in surprise and mutely opens his mouth. All of a sudden the band started to fit a little too snugly, the ears becoming a present weight over his head. He slowly raises his hand to reach out and feel them. They twitch in response and react to the touch. But really, what was most surprising was that they began to feel like an actual extension of his body.

The tabby colored ears shifted in color until it perfectly matched the tuft of Satan’s hair. The other brothers watched in amazement as he grew another set of ears. Satan stood still, too shocked to say anything. Once the situation dawned on him, he balks and marches over to where Mammon took cover from, audibly gulping knowing what's about to come.

“Brother dearest, everytime I think your ideas couldn't get any dumber,” Satan grits out, each word laced with all the venom he could muster. He grabs Mammon by the collar and pulls him out of his hiding spot. “But no, I think you've outdone yourself with this one.”

“For...for what it's worth! I think it suits your look!” Mammon screams, struggling to loosen Satan’s hold. He shoots a pleading look towards his brothers, trying to save the last bit of dignity that he has left.

“You think? Should I also be saying _nya_ at the end of my sentences?”

“Actually,” Belphegor butts in, raising a hand in the air. He stuffs one of the chocolate coated strawberries into his mouth with an insufferable smirk looking way too pleased with himself. “Some people would totally be into that.”

“What I really meant was shut the fuck up.”

Satan jolts when he feels something graze the small of his back. He watches in horror as a tail protrudes from that area, momentarily releasing Mammon to grab at it. He reaches around to clasp it from the base, attempting to dislodge it to no avail.

“Dude holy shit! You're the real deal!” Leviathan's eyes glimmer with barely concealed amusement, holding up his D.D.D. to capture Satan having a meltdown in frame.

“Levi best believe that I will feed all your beloved Ruri-chan figurines to Cerberus!” Satan lunges forward aiming at his device, poised in a stance that prepared him for strangling his next victim. Leviathan hurriedly hides behind Beelzebub’s back, he lifts his arm and waves it in the air tauntingly.

“Alright knock it off Levi, you've had your fun.”

Beelzebub pats Satan on the head, scratching at the back of his ears. To everyone’s surprise, his body slumps in relaxation as he lets out a little _mew_. As it becomes silent for the second time, his eyes widen in embarrassment. The burning red heat crawled across his neck and he could only hope the faint lights washed out the pink dusting across his cheeks.

Beelzebub goes to touch his ears again, this time scratching for a longer duration. Rinse and repeat. Against his will, Satan releases another purr as a wave of contentment washes over him. The sight of him being uncharacteristically placid had everyone else feeling slightly off-kilter.

“Is anybody else seeing this? Like, I’m not going crazy aren't I?”

“This is mad weird. I feel super weird.”

“Are we allowed to enjoy this? I'm never letting him live this down.”

Satan begrudgingly accepts the attention he's currently being given, pointedly choosing to ignore the ruckus around him. He pushes his head up Beelzebub’s hand, motioning for him to thread his fingers through his hair.

“This is giving me whiplash,” Mammon wails, grabbing the sides of his face in distress. “He was straight up about to murder me and now he's _purring_.”

“Don't think too hard Mammon, you’ll hurt yourself~” Asmodeus teases, Leviathan high-fiving him in agreement.

They continue making a fuss over the situation and take full advantage of the fact that Satan was currently preoccupied. On a normal day, they would have already been buried thirty feet underground.

See:

1\. He tells you to fuck off  
2\. He crushes your hand and then tells you to fuck off  
3\. When he gives you the stare, you've got 3 seconds to run

Lucifer steps back into the room, wanting to check on their progress. He notices that they've huddled together in one corner of the room and heads straight towards where the commotion was happening. He stands next to Mammon and bends down to level with his height, putting his face beside him to see what the buzz was all about. 

“Lucy! What brings ‘ya here?” Mammon twitches and nervously chuckles, leaning away as he fiddles with the rings on his fingers.

Lucifer raises an eyebrow. “What is going on in here? Have all of you accomplished the task I've given?”

“Funny you should ask that,” Mammon forces out a laugh, and Asmodeus shoves him from behind. “How good of a mood are you in right now?”

“That depends on what you're about to tell me.”

“Cool cool cool cool," Mammon glances to the side. "So, uh, about those cat ears...”

“I’m not too sure about those ones. They're the only items not from the human world.” Lucifer explains, growing impatient. “Why do you ask?”

"I may have plopped them onto Satan’s head for, you know, research purposes,” Mammon tries to give a casual shrug. “And well, now we can't get them off.”

Lucifer blinks. “Those are parasitic.”

The ears on top of Satan’s head twitches, having snapped out of his brief stupor. He swings his head in Lucifer’s direction, trying to process what he had just said. He pushes himself off the floor, finally shoving Beelzebub’s hand to the side. He grabs one of the decorative arrows and purposefully stalks towards his dear elder brother with a predatory glint to his eyes and a sinister grin that is every bit menacing.

“I'm giving you till the count of three _ _."__

__“G’ah!”_ _

**Author's Note:**

> rip 2 mammon ,, he's my fave boi but he's just so easy to bully lol i'll leave it up to y'all to imagine what happens to him at the end .


End file.
